Part 45: Recommended: Two-fisted combat
In this chapter, Clan Beoulve gets all rough 'n' tumble and fights some rowdy folk! So if you want to see some good ol' fightin', gimme a YEE-HAW!...
Okay, moving on...
The followup to Weaver's War. Apparently when Weaver wants to take vengeance on the people who killed his family, he kills them! Huh.
Oh, you're back already?
Go try Thorny Dreams. I gotta keep flinging people at it until I succeed.
We wouldn't get paid for not stopping Weaver.
Would we? I don't care at this point.
Weaver is a Fighter, so he cannot use the Zankplus that I forged for him.
The laws have nothing on the books about killing people. You escaped with Montblanc's murder pretty easily yourself, Ramza.
Lini's been arrested several times by now but the judges have no problem letting him out for some gil, in fact.
Yeah, Weaver's level 14. That's a bit before the third crystal.
I don't think Scarface shows up until some time after the fourth is gone. By then you're level 22+.
Shara's a cereal mascot now.
"Find my kitty!" ~Little Girl
"Here's a year's wages, magic teleporting shoes, and some glasses." ~Little Girl.
Oh localization team how do you mess up Hanzel so magnificently?
Multiple Insignias don't stack.
Anyway if it involves Alchemy then Ezel can solve it because the Hermetic is supposed to be some super-alchemist.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFWHAT?! You get the cool person award today, Ritz.
Carrot has been in FFT, FFTA2, and FFXII as well. The game neglects to tell you what Carrot is.
Incidentally, in the other three games, Carrot's owner's name starts with Z.
The Malbow is the strongest bow (as in, not a greatbow) in the game.
Why do I even need the Rusty Spear? Why is it consumed?
Invariably, Carrot is the most powerful Marlboro in the game. Don't give me any shit about the Wild Marlboro, it has the exact same stats as Carrot, but Carrot has Growing Threat and uses Putrid Breath, which inflicts every status.
This Carrot? Just another Marlboro, sadly.
A shame, really. FFXII's Carrot is fucking awesome. You're told it's really timid and if you kill anything in the Salikawood, it doesn't appear. Must be a wimp, right?
So you do all the work and HOLY SHIT A GIANT FUCKING MARLBORO IT JUST ATE VAAN! OH GOD I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HALF THESE STATUSES EXISTED POOR PENELO IS BEDRIDDEN NOW.
I mean giant. Carrot is the biggest Marlboro in FFXII.
Boring or not, Carrot is still tough as shit because she's a level 48 Marlboro.
Hunting gives 10 JP if it kills an enemy, but there's no judge to reward AP in this fight, so I'm just doing it for flair.
If you're wondering about FFT, Carrot is only described in a proposition. This is the first game in which you fight Carrot.
Oh yeah Lini got this thing because it requires a Mog Knight. Lini is my only Moogle because I don't want no stupid Animist or Montblanc to be #2.
Oh yeah what sword do you ha
WHOSAWATZIT?! I want it!
That alloy? I haven't seen it in years, though! Clan Shalo has to pay for this!
"Babus are we close friends yet?"
"No."
"Hot damn I have two jagds!"
There's a reason there's two Insignias. It's not a good one, but it exists.
Finally I can beat him up over stuff.
Oh yeah what do you have that's kinda nea
WHOSAWATZIT?! I want that sword too!
This... can be arranged! Clan Shalo gets to live!
Free Bervenia doesn't take place in Bervenia.
It takes place in Cyril. Sure it's been saying Cyril for a while but would you notice? I only noticed GUKKO'S BACK OH NO.
Just gotta make those FFT references! Doesn't matter if these guys are nowhere near as dangerous as real Archaeodemons!
Nor are these guys as aggravating as real Apandas.
...You are the worst ever, Ramza.
Damn.
Gotta equip everybody with swords now...
FUCK YOU LAWS
What? No Bio3? You sack of shit! Hahahaha!
Bullets are not arrows.
Nanoflare me now you magnificent cocksucker!
The Masamune is actually the strongest weapon she can use, but I prefer the range.
Ramza destroyed the world with Light. Seriously, he uses Holy Blade a lot.
The Rukavi Soul is the strongest soul in the game.
Let's get an evil sword forged!
Ultima Masher doesn't inflict a status, recover HP, nor is it used with a Sabre.
Level 49? Most of these guys endgame enemies are level 48.
Note: He can't use the very fey blade he'll forge.
Okay!
Sometimes the random variance in damage goes above the predicted value.
Note: The blade has no detrimental effects.
It's just the strongest katana in the game.
Babus jokes are getting old. Ezel can do this one.
Well Ritz, you're now the most trusted dispatch monkey in the world.
With so few areas left, Baguba starts selling SeventhHeavens.
Believe it or not, I'm out of adamantite after that Adaman Alloy mission..
Anyway, on to finding Meow.
Meow is an adorable coeurl.
Then Ramza blows it up with his spirit powers.
Oh another challenge from dweebs who don't know their pla
Those shoes.
I want them.
Two guesses as to the Shadowclan's composition.
If you guessed Ninjas and Assassins, you were right. In FFTA2 the requisite eastern clans throw in Parivirs, even though east of Jylland is the area where FFXII takes place.
You'd think a clan full of high-level assassins and ninjas would be frightening after I harp on them so much.
They have no idea what their doing so they're as gentle as kittens.
That's before I blow them all up.
I can't steal shoes so this is the only way to get a pair.
I wish I could have six, though.
These shoes increase move by two. Two.
With this, Paladins and Templars can reach 8 move. Paladins use the Sequence and the Naragarok while Templars wear the Acacia Hat. Either way, Ramza can fly across the battlefield.